Evaluations

New Hope after the Freedom Programme for men

Hello Pat.  I wanted to thank you for allowing me to come to the course that K----- took part in. When I accepted the invitation I believed that I would be observing a group of men who would not be able to change, including my own husband. I came there with the belief that my marriage was ending, that K---- and any future partner deserved the opportunity to have a better chance of not making the same mistakes. That was the sole reason for coming.

I found all of the exercises relevant to my own experience's and sometimes that was difficult for me to face, the fact was that K---- saw himself in those exercises too, that really opened his eye's in a way never before. The men worked together and supported each other without ever needing to discuss personal details of the reason they were there. This meant we were able to see the man not the monster that society portrays. They were a group of men trying to work out a better way of living. One exercise in particular stands out for both K---- and myself, when he argued with Pat then ran the gauntlet of all those voices. We know that is what happens and are now using that to good effect. We are replacing negative thoughts with positive ones.

The reason I want to thank you is because we have gone from a marriage that was ending to a marriage that is beginning. We are now living back together, I have a full time job for the first time in years. At the moment K---- is doing ALL the household jobs (and I mean ALL) and we are spending time together even learning to dance. I recognise that now we both need to change; we are. I have so much to thank you and Gwyneth for. Words are not enough.
 

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Progress from the Freedom Programme for men

He had never admitted any abuse. After doing the programme he acknowledged in front of the CAFCASS officer that it was wrong of him to treat me the way he did. Pat this is tremendous progress and I am pleased that we now can go forward.

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Weekend Programme Freedom Programme for men

The effect upon my husband following your weekend freedom programme is an epiphany - thank you so much.

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Professional Evalutions

A Social Worker Evaluation

An evaluation of the effect of the Freedom Programme for men by a social worker
Download: WORD

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An Evaluation of the Freedom Programme for men in Wrexham by Social Services and the Probation Service

Download: PDF

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Feedback

A poem

Thanks for a great course. I really learnt a lot. I had a little think and came up with this poem. I thought I would send it as a little thank you. All the best and I wish you luck

 I know the things I did were scary
I don't blame her for being so wary
All I did was cause her fear
I never thought to draw her near

I took her off to far away places
Where she didn't know the streets or faces
For me, I knew that was the best
I didn't stop to think of the rest

I had a son that loved me dearly
And a wife in all but nearly
But what I did, I feel great shame
I treated them all like pawns in a game

I dragged her down and made her sad
If she complained, I called her mad
There was no sin that I didn't use
In my abhorrent quest to abuse

For me, her secrets were weapons of war
I abused her trust and she showed me the door
I took my time and I planned my game
I tried to convince her, I wasn't the same

When deep down, we both knew
I'd still be the same if it wasn't for you
Now I can see the errors I made
All the emotions and games that I played

It took a long time and a woman called Pat
To show me my ways and I was being a twat
Now I am ready, to be a good man
I hope I've not lost her, my biggest fan

Now she is close, no matter how far
And I tell her "You're perfect, just as you are!"

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General Comments

"Without doubt the most beneficial thing I've done in my life so far. If life can gain a sense of normality the fear of coming was worth overcoming."

"A lot of it I didn't know I was doing and have learnt a lot. Thank you."

"It was worth every mile I drove to get to the course."

"It has been fun! Thanks!"

"Thank you for helping me to understand myself"

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The awareness weekend was the only time in my life whereby I really looked at my behaviour.

I wanted to contact you and really let you and Gwyneth know that the two of you have made such a difference to both my partner and my own life and I don't know how to thank you. The awareness weekend was the only time in my life whereby I really looked at my behaviour and through the way you both deliver it, with examples and real life situations, I was able to understand more about how my behaviour has affected so many people who I love and care for.

For me. the exercise where we role played on the Sunday the late return of the partner, shocked me to the core. It is difficult to explain, but it did not feel like role-play when I was in it and the voices from the group were so real that I experienced the real feelings that I used to get but in a safe way. That moment changed me for good and I was so grateful that my partner was there to help me through it. I feel like a recovering alcoholic must feel. I have the ability to revert but the desire not to and thanks to you can now recognise the triggers and am able to deal with it in a proper way.

I am a very lucky man to have met you both and to have the love and support of a wonderful woman. As for my partner and me, I have returned to the U.K and she asked me to move in three weeks ago. She is doing really well and now works full time and really enjoys it. She sees her family often, although they want rid of me. She is really happy she tells me. I am so proud of her, its great to see. At the moment, I am looking for work so spending my time doing my far share around the house and practising my culinary skills, which is good fun. Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read this, and book me in for the next welsh weekend, also if I can be of help with the conference then please let me know.

God Bless to you and Gwyneth.

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This programme has most definitely helped me to sort out a row before it gets out of hand

I would like to thank Carol, Sian and Ian for their time. I have found it very educational and worthwhile. I would be happy to assist with further courses if I was invited as I feel that I could help other people. It's just the right length of time (11/2 hours per week over 13 weeks).

I found the course very useful not just to my relationship but to my everyday life, it has taught me to deal with a more methodical, calm and asserting attitude i.e. I am able to recognise when my behaviour is being triggered into an abusive episode and deal with it in an appropriate manner i.e. a non-violent way. It has also enabled me to identify other people's behaviour toward others and myself when it occurs thus avoiding a potential bad situation.

The course was informative and I hope that what I have learnt will stick with me for future relationships.

Biscuits were great. My only negative comment about the course was the reverse psychology at the beginning where 'we' made the rules. We should just be told the rules. It would have commanded more respect from me in the beginning. Good points were that the course is not too long so as not to loose interest. At some points is hard hitting. Sian and Carol did a brilliant job. The course highlights things in your mind, and helps you to recognise the signs before an incident occurs.

My beliefs have changed. This programme has most definitely helped me to sort out a row before it gets out of hand.

The programme was run at a friendly pace enabling people to open out about their individual problems relating to domestic abuse which in turn helped others to openly discuss issues and understand their own behaviour towards their partners.

Being on the Freedom Programme has helped me to understand myself. I thought I was the only one with a problem (abusive). This programme has made me think very hard about my self. Made me think before opening my mouth and shouting or being violent. Thanks it's been 100% for me. Many Thanks.

Thank you very much. I think this course has helped me a lot. I will do my utmost to be a good father and partner in future. I have learned a lot and now I think before I act.

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